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We push them to become this or that or be the one we wanted to be

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Joined: 4 months ago

Hi, I am new to this forum, but it looks promising if we all share our stories here. So I'll give it a go.

Having three kids and once they grew older, all in their 20s now, I realized that, all this thing of pushing children to be good at school, to have good grades, to make a team, to excel in that team. To have a profession that comes closer to what we understand as a profession, works in the opposite way. At least it did for my children. This constant pressure or pampering them, standing at the pitch one hour, bringing them to music class the other, trying to show how much I care and how caring I am, had a negative effect in the end. They never wanted to do those things. They never thanked me for it, even though I never expected that. And listen, my husband was very laid back. He always did his own things and never got involved in conversations about what would be the best for our kids. He was saying that let them figure it out themselves. Now after all those years, I see that they respect their father more than me in a sense. They learned more from him than they did from me. Because I was looking after them all the time, so what they could've learned from me.

So what I learned is, you don't have to pamper your kids, spoon-feed them, get into their relationships and friendships, send them to this class or that class, and be that itch in their butt that they can't get rid off. Because they have no respect for you as if you didn't have anything else to do in life apart from looking at them, so how can you tell them what to do.

It will be interesting to see if any more parents had the same experience or their kids appreciated their over-protective parents.

Thank you! 🙂

It will be interesting to hear

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