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Why we stay in relationships too long??


Elen19
Posts: 3
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(@elen19)
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Joined: 3 months ago

I and my husband back then were two young people trying to live together. And I mean trying. Most people back then were saying that we will grow through it. Even any conversation we had used to end up in a disagreement or an argument. We had to stay around other people, because when in a group, you talk to other people, and so you look like a perfect couple. But once alone, we have to talk about something we don't really care, to avoid an argument over it. We were so different. A different way of seeing things, different perspectives. The problem with us was that we used to walk around the house without talking for days or weeks, because of disagreement. Back then it looked like we tried to prove the point, now, I look at it as a waste of time. The little time we all have. Now looking back, I'm not angry at him, neither I'm harsh on myself. He was a good person, so I was, and still am. But we were so different. And not meant for each other. It's funny how I saw my friends being a better partner for him than I saw myself, specifically one good friend of mine. After we turned to separate paths, they never got together, because we still friends with this one person, but sometimes I wonder if he had met her, before me, how different their lives would have been and I wish I could've ended all sooner, despite him and all people around us saying, that it is perfectly normal. It wasn't.

I have learned: if your heart is saying no, it means no. If people have arguments over every little silly thing, they are not kindred souls. They are two strangers living together. And nothing will change. People that said "you two will grow out of it", or  "it takes time, we had to deal with it, everybody has to deal with it", said nothing in the end. And some, I'm not messing here, said that they knew all along that we will break up, but were hoping for us to give it another try. Don't listen to friends, parents, or who say " but he is such a good guy' or for others, it could be "such a good wife". You should know better. And time won't fix things, you have to. If you are fighting, or you don't feel happy, quick now. Even if you have kids or a house to be paid for. And like in that song "just kiss anybody", and start living. while letting him or her, to live as well. 

 

1 Reply
notlern_
Posts: 5
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(@notlern_jf3irl)
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Joined: 4 months ago

Thank you! We hope you have found the one ❤️ 

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